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MARCH 22, 2011
why oh fucking why.
why did i let this happen?
why does it happen to me?
why do i have to hate myself…
hate myself for accepting this
for letting her sleep in my bed
while i stay awake, involuntarily
pondering what has happened
what is keeping me from offing myself of this misery
it’s all too much to take at once
it’s all happening so fast
why do i love her?
why do i go on?
is there something wrong with me to be like this?
to be so curious of the goings on of things
to be so loving and forgiving of these goings on
and of this person
we all say that we would not stand for this if it were to happen to us,
yet hear i am, wide awake
letting her sleep in my bed
(how can she sleep so easily?)
(duh, she just had sex with another person)